Strider and the Louds
by Prinnyramza
Summary: The Loud family has a new guest.
1. Chapter 1

**I already wrote a Homestuck x Loud House crossover before, but here's another one I guess. **

**This isn't really a new story. I wrote the first two chapters a long time ago before I started copying my stories from AO3 to Ff net. When it came time for this one I just figured "Hey I'll just send this over when I right the next chapter." **

**...**

**That took like a year. So enjoy now I guess. **

* * *

"Leni what are you doing in my room" Lincoln Loud couldn't say that his room was a complete isolated paradise. That was a dream that he had long since given up, but it was still weird for him to have a visitor before he was even in there. Even when he had a guest he would've expected Lynn or Lucy, and on the weird occasion Lana, not Leni.

"I'm just thinking about how I'm going to organize my wardrobe." It did look like she was doing something similar to that. There were now two metal bars a top of his room that he knew for a fact were definitely not installed before. The blonde was hooking up dresses from a bundle of clothing she had over her arm. "Like gosh, I've always wanted a walk in closet. I didn't even think about a sleep in one. This is going to be fantastic."

"Leni, That sounds cool but I think your own closest would get jealous." Specifically the one in her own room that she now had all to herself. As much as he didn't mind sharing, any occupancy in his room had to be limited to a few days.

"Oh no I didn't even think bout that." she spoke as if her closet would actually show a spark of emotion despite it being a combination of wood and plaster. Lincoln didn't bother to correct any misconception he was sure she was having, "But I already told mom and dad that I'd use this one."

"Leni. You're were suppose to keep that a secret for now." Lynn Loud Sr, their dad poked his nose into Lincoln's room. His eyes darted around.

"Dad?" Lincoln blinked, questioning the sudden invasion of his own space.

A clump of dust flew out of the vent above. Inside a grumble came out. "I know why."

Papa Loud flinched and yelped but held down on the door frame. He knew exactly who must've been up there. He was proven right when long black hair popped down revealing another of his daughters. "Sweetie, you know I love you, but if you keep scaring daddy like that you might put him in a early grave."

"You can borrow my coffin." Lucy seemed unconcerned, in fact she seemed almost thrilled at the idea. "Lincoln, dad was planning on telling everyone tomorrow."

"And he told Leni today?" The boy's head tilted to one side.

"Ya that was like, really dumb of him, right?" Leni hooked up another dressed before letting out a laugh. She showed no remorse for herself.

"Dad, what's going on?" Lincoln cried out.

"Ya what gives?" Lynn Loud Sr turned around and there was yet another girl standing before him, specifically Lynn Loud Jr. Her brown hair in her usually ponytail.

"You're not kicking Lincoln out or something are you?" His usually composed daughter started to pull at her hair, "Oh man, I've had nightmares about this."

"You're thinking about the one that ends with him dressed as a mascot." Lucy said dryly.

"How'd you know?" Lynn Jr frowned.

"You talk in your sleep."

"I'm really that loud?"

"No I just like standing over your bed and listening to your angst mumbling when you're having a nightmare." Lucy smiled, a bit too much for Jr's liking.

"Oy, What's all this business here?" A fake British accent joined the battle. Luna exited her room a little bit down the hall.

"Dad's kicking Lincoln out." The girl with the pony tail whipped around to face her older sister.

"I'm not." The father whined.

"Dad you can't kick Lincoln out." The rocker dropped her faux rock dialect and turned to her father. Her eyes narrowed, "He's our brother, even if he's adopted."

"I'm adopted?" The young boy gasped.

"Your brother's adopted?" So did his father.

"Lincoln's adopted?" A raspy voice cried out, "Lola, What's adopted?"

Two tiny identical kids chose that moment to step out of their room.

"Lana, It means that he was abandoned alone at a fire department as a baby." Lola answered, her hands on her hips and nose in the air.

Lana's eyes grew wide, "Oh man, who would just dump Lincoln. He's awesome."

"Thanks Lana." Lincoln smiled.

The twin brought her hand to her chin and eyed the boy, "Y'think it was because of his teeth?"

His smiled faded, "Thanking you a little bit less now."

"What's going on?" Stomping was heard as someone ascended the stairs. The oldest daughter of the house entered into the crowd.

"Hey Lori, you came out of the garage!" Lola waved and smiled at her fellow blonde.

"Lincoln was abandoned at a fire department." Lana shouted, wanting to share the information before anyone else.

"Okay, this sounds like It's gonna be stupid." Lori didn't even blinked, instead turned to eye the stairs from where she came, "You know I can easily turn around and go back out to the garage, right?"

Lynn still hadn't let out of her own hair which she played with furiously, "Dad's trying to abandon Lincoln."

There was a clicked heard as yet another child closed their door behind them, "I knew this day would come eventually."

"You did Lisa?" Lana asked. Lisa was smart so if she thought it was true then it must be. "It's because of his teeth, right?"

Lincoln pushed his lips together, "Lana seriously you were my favorite."

"There's my inspiration for yet another poem." Lucy sighed, "I'll call it Favorite: A brother's betrayal."

"Don't even start. I'm suppose to be everyone's favorite." Lola whipped her hair at the dark sister's general direction.

"It's just logical. Our parental units have chosen to focus on their individual dreams. Novel writing and restaurant work are lucrative only for the lucky few." Lisa readjusted her glasses, "My research money could take us only so far. They're planning on selling us."

"No one is being sold." The father at this point could only pinch the bridge of his nose.

"Like gosh dad, You're planning on giving us away for free?" Leni rolled her eyes, "I don't think anyone will want us if you seem desperate."

"If I may make a request, please donate us to the pursuit of science." Lisa said with no emotion other than blunt acceptance.

"Science, really? You understand how much one of us would go for in the black market." Lori scoffed.

Everyone paused.

Everyone blinked.

Everyone looked at Lori.

"I googled it. For a friend." The eldest added hastily.

"I'm starting to wonder why I'm considered the creepy sister." Lucy said as she said everything, with apparent indifference.

Luna looked at the vent, "That was never an official title. Frankly dude that's always been Luan for me."

"You should speak for yourself." There were a gaggle of giggles at Luna side.

"I wish I could." Mr Coconut spoke, his eyes as lifeless as ever. Luan stood there smiling. Her hand deep in puppy rectum.

Luna let out a deep sigh, "Oh speak of the devil."

Leni blinked as she bobbed her head to the side, "But we weren't talking about Lola."

"Hey!" The princess cried.

"Everyone focus." Lincoln shouted over the martial conversing of his sisters. An impressive feat to be heard over all their chatter.

Lori scoffed at the outburst, "You don't have to blow a fuse squirt."

"Lori, Lincoln has a good reason to freak. Dad's trying to toss him out." Lynn Jr pleaded with the oldest.

"Oh wait. Is this the conversation I walked into." Luan spoke to herself. "I swear pranks are only a third of the reason I started recording everyone. Part of it is so I can keep track of these conversations."

"The last third is so I can sell tapes to Lisa for a cut of her research grant." The prankster quickly added.

"Relax, It's not like we would actually allow that to happen. Right everyone?" Lori rallied the sister union.

"Right!" They all chimed in.

Lana smiled confidently, flexing her tiny arms, "He's our brother. Fire department baby or not."

"Girls. This is really touching and I'm happy that you feel that way. In this day and age, more than ever It's good to know that there are many different type of families out there and when you find yours you have to embrace them no matter what." If there was any time to imagine soft sitcom music, now would be the time. The father gentle gave the potential aesop, "There's just one thing."

"Your. brother. is. not. adopted." Lynn Sr punctuated every word with a pause. Shifting between looking each his children in the eyes.

"Wait really?" Luna blinked. She leaned towards her brother, getting a better glance at him, "But his hair's all white."

"And we're all girls dad." Leni rolled her eyes, "It's like impossible for you to have a son."

Lisa glared up at the fashionista, "Leni, did you perhaps learn genetics from the Maury show?"

"Luna, He's premature grayed just like your grandfather." Lynn Sr massaged his temples.

Luna countered, "But pops is like super old. It makes sense for his hair to be white."

"So wait just a minute." Lola waved her hands, garnering everyone's attention, "If he's not adopted then why are you tossing Lincy out?"

"Family meeting." The father could only retreat into the sanctuary that was his palm.

"But dad." Junior whined.

"Family meeting." Senior shouted.

* * *

"Poop poop" Bounced a bubbly baby.

The mother rocked her youngest in her arms as she sat down. Sending a bored expression towards her husband, "So what is this about honey?"

"Well dear. It seemed that the kids might've come across our you-know-what that we set up tomorrow."

"How much do they know?" Her tone told everyone that she knew this was going to happen.

"Nothing nothing." While she sat her husband stood beside her. In fact of the members of the family, he was the only one standing. The rest were at their respective dinner table seats, "Well Lucy might know everything but that's because of the vents. I really need to cover those up or get Lana to do it. Either or."

"Well either way the cats out of the bag."

"Ya it is." Lynn Jr leaped from seat. She now stood on it, one foot on the armrest. She balanced dangerous on it as she pointed an accusing finger at her parents, "We're onto you. No one's gonna sell Lincoln."

"We're not selling your brother." Senior yelped. His eyes squinting at his sports loving daughter. A little bit of spit flew.

Their mother brought a finger to her chin. She fought to keep down a smile, "But that does sound like a plan."

"Mom?" Lincoln's voice cracked.

"Oh I'm just kidding honey. I wouldn't give my little man up for the world." Rita let out a laugh before she leaned over and pinched her son's cheek.

"Lincoln." Baby Lily joined in. Smiling brightly, she gave her brother a good pap right on his cheek.

"Oh poor baby." Said Lori who leaned over the dinner table and started to pat him on the top of his head.

"We love you." Shouted Lynn.

Very soon his sisters were on him like an over affectionate octopus. It was to the point where he couldn't see their faces, only their hands and forearms. He was pretty sure that there was no part of his head which remained scared. He glared into space, "Please stop this while I still have some dignity left."

Their father coughed and the kids retreated to their own seats. The only boy slumped down, letting out a repressed sigh.

"Now kids. For the reason I called you all down here." His father brought everyone back to attention. "Now you all might notice that there is a bit of room available after the recent departure of your older sister."

The father paused and took a moment to look at his eldest daughter. He coughed, trying to control a deep lump in his throat. You could almost see the tears forming in his eyes.

"Literally just in the garage dad." Lori rolled her eyes. She has curled up in her seat, paying more attention to her cell then the meeting.

Seeing that her husband needed a moment. Rita took charge of the meeting. She stood up, handing Lily over to Lori, who was forced to surrender her phone to support the baby, "Your father and I feel like it might be time for a new addition in the family."

The room stopped. They're parents smiled in anticipation, scanning their children's face for a reaction. It took a moment before they could see any. All twelve of the children groaned.

"Bogus." Luna scoffed, kicking her head back.

"You're pregnant again?", Luan for once didn't look at all amused.

"Mom. Please no. We're all sick and tired of babies." Lily smacked Lori after she made that comment. Well as much as a toddler could smack, which meant only enough force to draw her older sister's attention. Lori smiled sheepishly, "Love you Lily."

"Calm down. You won't have to worry about that." The mother motioned surrender, "Your father has had some work done so there won't be any more babies in this house. At least not for a long time."

"Work done?" Lana asked.

Lisa pushed up her glasses before offering, "I believe she's talking about a vasectomy."

"You do know that takes a few months before it kicks in right?" Lori raised her eyebrow.

Her father looked at her and opened his mouth. "Um."

He didn't close it.

Rita placed her hand on her husband's shoulder, "That's a discussion for another day."

"So what's the new addition?" Leni raised her hand despite not being in a class room.

"Oh are we getting another pet?" So did Lana.

Lola groaned, "You already have like gazillion pets Lana. We don't need anymore."

"Besides, what will we do if they outnumber us?" Leni gasped, covering her mouth with hand.

"Outnumber us? Leni what are you talking about?" Lori said.

"I'm just keeping an eye out." Leni whimpered.

"Talk about paranoid." Lori scoffed.

"Actually I've seen them watching tv. The cat sure loves the evening mews. Get it?" Luan let out a few laughs loud enough to combat her familiy's collective groans. To took a moment to compose herself before, admitting bluntly, "Oh but seriously, I have them on my tapes. It's genuinely concerning."

"I wouldn't worry too much about it. It's if anything just the results of my genetic tampering of the DNA of multiple specimens." Lisa explained a bit to casually for her siblings' liking.

"Lisa, no." Lynn brought her hand to her face. She foresaw another discussion in the future involving her sister's loose ethics.

"Lisa, yes." The girl in question readjusted her glasses.

"I probably should be surprised that you didn't kill one of my pets before Lola did." Lana shook her head.

Their mother's eyes grew wide, "Lola did what now honey?"

"Nothing mom." The messy twin shuddered. She took a sideway glance at her other half. The primadonna pointed at her two eyes before bringing them towards her sister. There was a terrifying smile on her face. Lana trembled in fear.

"Now everyone. We're not getting any pets and we're not getting a new baby." Lynn Senior explained to his children.

"Is Gramps moving in?" Lincoln smiled, excited for the possibility of seeing his grandfather every day.

"No your grandfather likes his independence." His mother shook her head.

Lisa raised her hand, a rare smile on her face, "You're finally letting me build us a robot butler."

Her father looked at his daughter, "Have you figure out how to make one without it rebelling against humanity?"

"Well no." The genius crossed her arm.

"Then no."

"Oh Oh, a pet." Leni waved excitedly.

"Leni, I already said we weren't going to get a pet." Lynn Senior grumbled.

"What about two pets?"

"No."

"Three?"

"Rita." The man looked at the mother of his children for support.

"Now kids. Something you have to understand that your father and I love you and that no matter what happens we promise to be there for you, but there are kids out there who don't always have that same support. There are kids who whatever reason can't be taken care of by their guardians and can use any help that they can find." Her glance followed the room. She took a turn to look each of her children in the eye.

"Wait a minute mom, you aren't?" Lori stared at her parents.

"Yes. She is." Lucy answered.

Lynn Senior nodded, "Kids. We're going to have a guest in our house for a bit."

There were mutters exchanged amongst the kids. They all stole sideways glance at each other. They began to frenzy. Lori gasped, "A foster kid? Like mom and dad. That's nice and all but why us?"

"I get what Lori's saying. We're not exactly short on rugrats here." Luna agreed.

"A friend of mine asked me specifically." Papa Loud answered, "Someone I knew from the old IT support job."

Rita took over, "We, your father and I had been been getting updated about him. We've been mulling this over for a while now."

"Him?" Lynn pointed out. She slumped forward in her seat, grabbing the edge of the table. "That's going to be so weird having a guy over."

"There's usually already a guy in the house." Lincoln offered.

Lynn let out a laugh, "Ya sure, whatever."

Lincoln frowned at the sports girl.

"That like, sounds pretty great actually. It'll be like having two Lincoln's around." The ditzy blonde offered, "Gosh. How will I tell them apart?"

Leni looked genuinely perplexed.

"Ya, but as much as Mom and Dad know about him. We don't know anything. Like how old is this kid?" Lori knew that there was probably a good reason the kid was in foster care.

"Thirteen." Lucy answered. Despite her hair covering her eyes she saw her siblings look at her, "I knew beforehand, remember?"

"Thirteen. I don't know. Dudes can be pretty gross round that age." Luna said.

Lola nose crinkled, "Like ew, what if he has BO."

"What's BO?" Lana looked at her twin.

"It's when boys get hairy and start to smell?" The pageant winner answered before making she started to mock gag.

"Like a monkey?" Lana smiled brightly, "Awesome. Lincoln, when are you going to get BO?"

"I'm not going to answer that." Lincoln spoke slowly.

"Puberty or not. I'd just like to add that the government does subsidize the care of foster children." Lisa added in her two cents before patting her side, "A fine alternative to being sold to science. My spleen remains with me today."

"And I get to keep my funny bone." Luan laughed.

"Kids, Kids. As much as I love your input. I'm afraid that this isn't a democracy." Rita waved at her children, bringing them into attention.

Luna pumped a fist in the air, "Tyranny. Down with the system."

"We already promised that we'd take him in." Their mother explained.

"The social worker will be here tomorrow." The goth helped.

"Right Lucy." Senior spoke slowly, remembering once again he had to find a way to dissuade her from exploring the ventilation system.

"It's an interview of sorts. Not really to see if everything is okay with him. More to make sure that everything is nice and safe here." Rita smiled. She put faith that her children would all be on their best behaviors.

Lori sat back in her seat feigning disinterest, "Fine, I'm not going to complain. In the garage, I'll be a good distance away from the blast radius."

Lynn Senior pointed at his eldest, "Exactly. Since Lori is staying in the garage now, we thought it would be a good idea for Leni to room solo inside of the hall closet and Lincoln could room with our guest. Have some quality guy time."

His athletic daughter crossed her arms, "So who is this kid exactly?"

* * *

A car pulled up to the Loud residence on a bright Sunday afternoon. A dark skin woman stepped. She was well dressed in a purple dress suit. She closed the driver seat door behind her and walked to over to the back seat.

"Dave, are you ready?" She poked her head in. There sat a young boy. A sort of cool kid someone might describe him base on the sunglasses that he always wore.

"Hold on. Gotta get ready to pull my best little orphan Annie impression here." Dave spoke to his social worker, but he didn't bother to step out of the vehicle. He didn't bother to move at all really, "Think I'll hit them with hard knock life, the Jay Z version."


	2. Chapter 2

"You don't have to worry about anything Mr Strider." The woman in the purple dress suit smiled down at the blonde teen. She was the type of woman who seemed to rarely not have a grin on her mug. She rang the doorbell. In her arms were a vanilla folder and noticing that a sheet was slightly out of place she opened it up shook it until everything was in place and then fixed her hair. It was done in a bob cut that had obviously been straightened "The Louds are a lovely couple with quite a few kids of their own. They're very excited to meet you."

Beyond the door there was a shout before a series of banging could be heard. Dave kept his hands in his pockets and just shrugged, "Whatever you say Doc."

"Hey. Hello?" The footsteps stopped and the door jingled before cracking open. There stood a girl with brown hair in a ponytail, around Dave's age. She had a baseball in her hand and a bat over her shoulder. The girl raised her eyebrow as she looked up at the woman. She took a quick glance at him.

"Young lady. Is Mr and Mrs Loud here?" The woman in the suit greeted. The girl let out a drawn out 'ah' before she answered.

"Ya, they're right up stairs lady. Getting ready." She stepped aside. She shouted upwards to the stairs that weren't far away. "Hey mom, dad. I think they're here."

She tossed the ball in the air and let it drop back into her palm. The three of them stood where they were for a bit, before the brown haired girl pointed to a close by coach, "You can go crash on the couch if you want. I think they wanted you to wait there anyway."

The woman in the dress suit's eyes crinkled before she stepped pass her and dropped her behind onto the sofa with a soft plop. Dave walked towards the girl and looked at the ball at it bounce up and down. "So yo, you're Barry Bonds or something?"

She spat out a bit of air. Her eyes rolled, "Please give it time and I can outplay anyone in the Major League. Or NBA, NFL, NHL."

"Damn, I get it. You're gonna go hit some runs during the footsball bowl." She probably would've went on if he didn't interrupt. If he was impressed or not, it was hard to tell. "Gonna show some of those 1980s jocks what a girl can do. Like some rich white guy with a sweater tied round his neck is gonna mock you cause of that double X chromosome you got. That when you bean them in the nads with a baseball."

"Ya I'm like the best there is." She said slowly. Her face didn't express amusement but it didn't look like irk either. She tossed the ball up one more but this time allowed it to drop straight down to the floor. She reached over to him, "So what's with the specs?"

The cool kid flicked his head back, narrowing avoiding the girl's hands brushing against his signature eyewear, "Hey hold up. You can't just go straight for a cool guy's shades. They're a symbol. Plus they're here to protect you."

"What's going to happen. I'm going to turn to stone or something?" She mocked a smile, not looking at all impressed.

"I'm just trying to warn you. I have them on and you were already getting handsy. Soon folks are going to come out of the woodworks just to tackle me like I'm selling deodorant and body spray. I'm so fresh, they'll be trying to pluck out strains of my hair. Next thing you know you'll find them on ebay going to some girl who needs to finish up her dakimakura."

"What?" She was speechless. The girl didn't know what to expect but this wasn't how she imagine the conversation to go. It had been a very sudden shift.

"Shit. Bet that girl has a whole shrine of me. Hidden away like some ritualistic sacrifice to the weeb gods without any of the biting commentary and irony that the monument to my sinful good looks deserve."

"Sheesh." She stopped him there. Twisting her wrist she allowed the tip of the bat to hit the ground before laying it against the railing of the stairs. She took a step up, "I'm going to go check on what's taking my folks so long."

Dave didn't outwardly acknowledge her exit, not even with a nod. Instead he turned his head to one side, walked over to the coach and then turned and looked towards another side, "I just want to point out that there is a severe lack of cheap katanas up in here."

"Well Dave. That's a good thing." The woman had watched his short exchange, her gaze never left him as they entered the home. She patted the cushion next to her and the kid sunk back into the sofa.

"I feel repressed doc. Like I'm a hot blooded Texan. Isn't this going against my second amendment right, right to bear shitty Japanese swords made in China? Swords don't kill people doc. People kill people. Preferably with swords cause they're badass."

There was a creak on the steps and both the woman and child were alerted. There stood a woman with blonde hair and a man with brown hair. There wasn't as much of it as there could be, but what was up there was brown. The woman gasped as if she wasn't expecting her guess and let loose and big smile, "Oh Doctor Baron. So glad to finally see you."

The two adults stepped off onto leveled ground and the man held onto the woman's shoulder. She reached back and instinctively interlaced her fingers with his hand. The man who must've been Mr Loud waved at the two and smiled so wide that you could see down his throat, "Hey remember me. Old Lynn Loud. Good to connect the voice to a face."

"And this must be Dave." The woman cooed, letting go of her husband's paw.

"Ya." Dave stood up and shrugged as if he wasn't completely committed to his own name.

"How was your flight?"

"It was cool."

"Did you get a good look around the neighborhood."

"A bit."

"Dave why don't you tell Mrs and Mr Loud a little bit about yourself?" The doctor stood and took the kid by the shoulders.

"We'd be happy to hear it. Come on sit down" Mr Loud spoke, inviting them to the sofa as it they hadn't taken liberties with the seating device a few moments prior.

* * *

"Come on, I wanna see." Lana pushed against her siblings back. She hoped to get past then to the railing where the adults down below failed to spot them. She couldn't get far in.

"Dude seems pretty normal." Luna whispered. She gave a side glance to the rest of the Louds.

Lori gave her a small glare, before rolling her eyes, "What were you expecting, three arms?"

That didn't stop her from staring down as intensely as the rest of the pack were.

"That would make shopping like totally impossible." The idea was a regular horror story for Leni. Though she was sure that if she had three arms that she would find a way to make it work.

Lincoln nudged one of his brown haired sisters, "Lynn, you got to talk to him. How was he?"

"Man, I don't know. It was only for a minute and it was weird. Like I have no idea what the guy was talking about." She had no idea how to describe the guy really. That would meant that she understood the conversation, "At one point he mention something, like a dokimori, dukemura-"

"Dakimakura?" Lincoln offered, a bit too quickly.

"Ya what's that?" Lynn clearly had no idea what Pandora's box that line of questioning could open. She leaned towards Lincoln, honestly curious.

"Um" Was the only really sound he could make.

"Yowch" Lola shouted, a sweet a distraction, "Lana bit-"

Lola found herself dragged by her dress. In one smooth mostly Lori had grasped the cloth silently rushed back into Luna and Luan's room. The others didn't have to be told to follow. Lori threw the pageant princess onto Luan's bed, the sound of a whoopee cushion was proof that she hit the mark. The oldest closed the door gently, keeping her ear out for any shouts. It seems like no one noticed her sister's outburst.

Lori loomed at Lola would was rubbing her behind before moving her sights onto Lana. She bared her teeth.

"What? I wanted to see." Lana complained.

Lori extended her finger, stopping just short of actually touching her sister, "Well now no one gets to see otherwise it'll look like we were spying."

"Wait I'm confuse." Leni raised her hand as if she was in a classroom.

"That's not surprising." Lori said bluntly.

"I thought we were spying."

"We were." Lori's face met her palm.

Lynn groaned, "Mom and dad are definitely going to be on the lookout now."

"Well I don't know how these things work but aren't they suppose to introduce the kid to the family?" Luna turned and looked through the crowd of her brother and sisters.

"It doesn't matter either way. If we see him now or in the coming week, he will be spending a great deal of time in our residence. Clamoring to get a look at the subject is unnecessary." Lisa leaned against Luan's bed. Her glasses slide down her nose, forcing her to slide the oversized spectacles back up.

"You're not the least bit curious?" Lincoln asked.

"No I am, but I haven't fully freshed out the list of test I want him to go through. An error I will amend by the time his stay is permanent." Lisa answered.

Lincoln wanted to say something to that but didn't know the exact way to put it softly, "Hey Lisa, maybe you shouldn't"

"Why must your social quirks get in the way of progress?" Lisa rolled her eyes. She crossed her eyes and pouted.

"I'm just saying, mom said that everything here has to be nice and safe, right?" The brother explained, using his mother's words.

"My experiments are perfectly-" Lisa paused, "They completely utterly-"

She looked at each kid in turned before finally admitting, "Okay you all know that I wear a wig."

"Ya, um, I didn't want to bring it up, but shouldn't we see a doctor about that?" Luna voiced her concern.

Lisa rejected the idea, "Nah it's fine. Probably."

"Medical emergencies aside. Lincoln's right. Foster kids usually go through some shiz and I'm not going to be here 24/7 to wrangle you guys until you're under control." Lori called them to attention, "If I have to come in here cause one of you guys cause some kind of psychological break down there will be hell to pay."

"Hey chill. We can be intense but we're not insensitive. Besides between all of us bringing our crews over, name one time we got a complaint." Luna dropped onto her own bed. She continued before anyone could answer her. "Not from the neighbors. From our guest. Lori's last party doesn't count. Sorry."

There was truth in that. They had a bunch of neighbors complain about their youthful excitement as their mother might've called it but it wasn't like any of their friends had complain when they came over. Hell they would've spent a lot more time over if it wasn't such a headache for their folks.

"Ya, if there's one thing we can do is foster a good environment." Luan giggled. Everyone else in the room did their best to ignore her.

"We can be good." Lana smiled confidently.

"I won't even force him to dress up." Lola nodded before recently "For a week anyway."

"Good. Cause I'm holding you to that." Lori would make sure of it, before turning to the group, "As for the rest of you. Maybe be a little bit less you."

"What's that suppose to mean?" Lynn frowned and crossed her arms.

"Lisa as Lincoln said no experiments. Luan no pranks. Luna maybe turn down the music a bit." The named girls nodded. The nodded reluctantly, but they nodded all the same, "Lincoln stop talking to your paranoid hallucinations."

When no one was paying attention Lincoln had started chatting with the reader. He was giving the reader the biggest smile as if he hadn't been having a serious conversation with his sisters, "Here in the Loud House, my parents might be in charge but it sometimes it seems like Lori's the boss."

"Ya that. None of that starting tomorrow." Lori pointed out the very behavior that she demanded to be soft banned, "I swear I don't want that to spread that to the new kid like it did Ronnie Ann. Bobby knows you so he understands and for the most part his family thinks it's pretty cute how she shares her boyfriend's quirk but like her grandmother thinks she's possessed by the devil or something."

"Excuse me," Lincoln shook out of his trance like state in order to address reality. He frowned, visibly insulted, "This is a legit coping mechanism."

"No it's not." Lisa stated.

Lynn shrugged, "You have a PHD in Psychology or something?"

"No but I do possess common sense."

Lori waved her arms, catching everyone's eyes. "Doesn't matter. Having none of it. Agreed?"

"Yes Lori." They all agreed.

"Oh Lori, what should I do?" Leni's hand was once again in the air. She bounced on her tip toes. Her smile was bright.

"Leni," Lori paused. She hadn't really expect to give instructions, just restrictions. She took a moment to think, before smiling gently at her, "Just try to be the best older sister that you can be."


	3. Chapter 3

By the end of the day, no one besides Lynn got even close to a one on one chat with the kid.

It was another week before their guest actually came with all the boxes that were associated with him. It wasn't exactly a difficult move. The kids outnumbered most things. Luggage wasn't an exception. Though it didn't hurt that there wasn't actually much there to begin with. There were a few heavy packages, but even those were carried with the efficient of a small army of pikmin.

Lincoln had the advantage of having a whole week to organize before Dave arrived. His side of the room was actually pretty much all set. It was surprisingly clean compare to his last living space. Probably had to do with how much larger Lori's and Leni's room had been compared to the hall closet. He just didn't have enough stuff to cover the new space. He kept his draw and that worked for his clothes so he decided that Dave could have his rein of the closest in the room.

Though the new kid's clothing was still packed away along with the majority of his stuff in cardboard boxes so currently all that were in there were a few hand me downs that had previously been under Lincoln's old bed.

The guest Dave slide a box cutter through the gap of the cardbox, popping a box that read 'fragile' right open.

"Hey is that a computer?" Lincoln was actually a little impressed. There were a couple laptops for the older kids, him included but the only full sized computer was the family one down stairs.

"Nah just a finely painted hexhedron that I plan on using to punk the unaware masses." Dave didn't really look back at the silver haired boy, instead opting to plop the chassis up right.

The sarcasm wasn't lost on the kid who decided to roll with it and laugh, "Right gotcha."

"I mean how are we kids suppose to survive without the other worldly wonder of modern technology. Where would we be if we couldn't pirate every cartoon the day after it aired? Probably be outside somewhere smoking pot, suffering reefer madness or whatever nixon era phenomenon we're suppose to fear." Dave flicked the blade up and down before settling down onto another box. He hugged the cube in between his legs, holding it steady as he made the cut.

Lincoln didn't say anything, just watched over shoulder. The flaps on the box opened revealing just a flat surface that was some kind of technology. Dave turned back and looked at him, "You know I work best with a bit of commentary."

"Um, ya Nixon. Did watergate, right?"

"Got it. I'll keep the political references out. Shame, I was planning on going on about some shit so intense that my texan forefathers would rise up and cry. You're really cutting off a foot here." He didn't seem all too upset. He pushed the pc under the desk Lincoln's folks had brought him. Maybe they had known about the computer or maybe it was just for studying but either way the tech fitted under it.

A few more boxes opened and he had his screen, mouse and keyboard all set up. A quick button pressed and the screen lit up.

Instead of doing what Lincoln had expected, which was using the machine, the blonde had stood up and actually approached him. "Hey, so I've been having some real big cravings. Been hankering for some of that forbidden fruit. If you got what I mean."

"I'm not entirely sure if I like where this conversation is going."

"I'm talking about apple juice here. Thing is I'm pretty new to this whole Oliver Twist deal. Haven't exactly gone house to house like the saddest round of trick or treating imaginable. Like man, what do you do when you want to grab some grub?"

"You just have to go downstairs and get it."

* * *

The kid was taking his sweet time opening the fridge door. He looked left, right and there a step to the side. He braced himself against the kitchen counter before reaching for the fridge handle, only to get beaten to the punch.

Leni skipped over and grabbed where Dave had been reaching. She faced the guest and posed. Her right leg was up behind her, "Gosh you must be like starving."

The blonde girl was pouting before she flipped open the door. "We can solve that."

As if there was a flair of showmanship in her moment the blonde posed before leaning back and opening the fridge door.

He didn't need help. He could pop it open himself, but if the fridge was open the fridge was open. He could go ahead and snatch up some of that good stuff.

He would've if not for a few hands clapping against his back and pulling him. "Hey, why don't you relax and we're take care of it?"

"Just sit right over here." A dining room chair creaked as it moved and Dave was practically thrown on it. It took the Strider lad a bit to realized that the one who pulled him from his prize was Luna and the one who moved the chair was one of the twin's Lola.

"You want some pb&j?" A plate with a sandwich was slid over in front of him thanks to the oldest of the three sisters. It wasn't what he came for but he wasn't going to say no. He reached over but the whole thing slipped between his fingers. The plate was knocked aside by another.

"I always hanker for some jello around this time." The color was appropriate. The grape glob was offered by the purple wearing rocker.

"Nonsense." Lola popped up next to him "He'll spoil his appetite."

The jello was knocked away by a tiny cup the little girl held. "Some afternoon tea will hold him over until supper."

Dave took a glance inside the cup. Man, all the nothing in there looked delicious.

Luna let out a laugh. "Yo Lola. He can play with you later. The guy needs something to eat."

"Oh like leftover frank and beans." Leni swung the plate on the table. The tea cup slid to the edge of the table.

There was a screech. "Leni, watch it. You nearly spilled my tea."

"Oh gosh, I'm sorry Lola." The tea cup was quickly scooped up Leni. She took a quick peek. "Wow I can't see it at all. Invisible tea, this must be like, really expensive."

"Why thank you. I have excellent taste."

Dave did the only thing a hot blooded kid his age could do. Drop to the floor and youth rolled from underneath the kitchen table, absconding the mess with his coolness attached.

* * *

The boy didn't think the girls noticed. In fact when he recanted the tale of his sweet escape he would end it by mentioning how the three sisters might still be there enthralled by a guy who they haven't even noticed is no longer right next to them.

A faux british accent cried out "Oy, where did he go?" and in no way impacted how he would bellow the story.

Continuing his self imposed stealth mission, Dave swept behind the couch and with a flip plotted himself right on it. He allowed himself to sink.

"Yo, what're you doing?" Dave looked up and hanging over him was the sportys girl. Same one that tried to finger his glasses just other day. She hung off the couch.

"Hanging back. Chillin as the sun beams slip through the window and hit like cheeks like mother nature is giving me a million well deserved kisses."

Dave began to ramble. Lynn for her part took it in stride or just straight up ignored it. "Okay great. Here." She dipped down behind the sofa and when she resurfaced holding a pillow in one hand.

The soft lump hovered over Strider's face. "You know I wasn't expecting this until seventy years in the future when my sole benefactor was my twenty year old wife." Dave stared at the comforter hovering above him. "Remember me for my sick skills on the mike. Also the theme of my funeral has to be sweet bro and hella jeff."

"Don't be silly." Lynn spun around to the front where she shoved the pillow into Dave's ear. She pushed until it fit between his head and the couch. "Also I don't know what that is nor have I ever heard you sing."

"Then your life is empty."

"Now, kick back and relax. I got you" Lynn ran back the other side of the sofa and bent her gut on it, pushing the pillow down further. She was either trying to fluff it smash it to nothingness, it was hard to tell.

"You really don't have to."

"I wanna." Lynn moved back to the front.

"No I mean it, really don't." Dave started to sit, but his shoulders were caught, pinned suddenly by the girl.

It was a quick struggle as the athletic girl said things like, "Just hang on," "Don't have to be so stubborn." and "I'm happy to." All would've been appreciative if she wasn't basically straddling him while he was trying relax.

"Hey, what are you guys doing?" A raspy voice asked. Lana gripped the railing of the stairs as she watched the two teens.

"Trying to get Dave comfortable."

"Trying to wrestle her off me. She's after my good looks. I warned her about looking directly at my face."

Lynn rolled her eyes, but that didn't stop her from trying her hardest to keep her boy down. If anything it made her push harder.

"Can I help?" asked Lana.

"Yes."

"Oh right!" Was the only warning given before a missile the size of a size year old girl beaned Dave right in the stomach.

* * *

"I thought I was going to have to look for you. You find the apple juice okay?" Lincoln flipped another page of the comic he was reading. He was mostly relaxing, with pants. Reading in his briefs was something had to get rid of for the time for Dave's sake.

"It's been decided that I can drink after I have lunch. I'll get back to you if what I'm eating is picked out." Dave allowed the door to click shut. He adjusted his shirt which looked messy for some reason before walking over to his mountain of still unopened boxes. "Pass me back the edge."

Dave reached his hand back. It made a 'give me' motion. "It's right next to you. Where your sister is sitting."

Lincoln squinted at his roommate. "Dave, there is no one here but-" His hair stood up as he caught something in the corner of his eye. He flailed his arms and before he hit the ground face first made a sound which he would later swear was totally cool and not as all girlish.

"Here you go Lincoln." Lucy passed her brother the box cutter. He received it before he could even gather the strength to remove his nose from the floor. With little movement in everything but his wrist he was able to pass it to forward to Dave.

"Thanks homie." There was a click before a box was cut asunder.

"Is that a drawing tablet?" It caught Lincoln's as soon as he stood back up. He scooted back to sitting on his new bed. "Man I always wanted one of those."

Dave gave a small smirk. "Well I think you're in luck Loud. You're rooming with a master of the art. Who am I to stop someone from following their passion and borrowing it?" The cool kid held up the tablet as if it was a gift from god.

"Ah for real?" Lincoln's expression glowed.

"Fo shizzle. In fact I'll show you how it works right now. Consider me the jedi to your naive padawan." Dave nodded "I'll teach my ways, and unlike Obi I'll even warn you if you're about to accidental make out with your sister."

"Um, great. Really counting on you for that." Lincoln said slowly. It was clear that he found the sentence strange, but ultimately harmless.

"Nah sweat, I just don't want this household to become a shitty sister manga while I'm around."

Lincoln blinked and almost too quickly shot out the words "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Lincoln" Lucy tilted her head. "Does this have anything to do with those comics you kept under-"

"I have no idea what Dave is talking about." The white hair boy repeated with twice the ferocity

"Now come" Dave unraveled a long cord that connect to the tablet and plugged it into the back of his computer. "Watch how I work a pen."

* * *

Nothing was on fire. Which honestly was a major concern normally. It was something Lori regularly had to check on even before the foster kid. She was just going to make sure which is why she knocked on the door of her old bedroom. "Hey, just seeing how you guys are doing."

There wasn't an immediate response. Lori placed her eye to the door. There wasn't any obvious sound but definitely sign of life onward. She places her hand on the knob. It was unlock. Guess they hadn't figured her security system out yet. Hopefully for her sake they never do.

Lori pushed ahead. "Hey, you do know it's literally the rudest to not answer when someone knocks, right?"

Her brother didn't say anything. He was there, he didn't have the excuse of being absent. He was just standing there with his hand covering his eyes.

The door creaked as Lori slowly stepped in. "Lincoln, are you alright?"

"Ya, ya. I'm fine." The boy said. He uncovered his face and she could see he wasn't crying or anything, but he was averting his eyes for some reason. His gaze mainly focus on his side of the room.

"Hey Loud the first." Dave was at desktop, which Lori quickly understood was part of his luggage. There was a quick of a mouse before he stood up. Lucy who was watching over his shoulder, stood a side so he could stand. "You about ready for the big reveal of my latest masterpiece?"

There was a small USB printer underneath his desk. It made a hiss before eating a sheet of paper. When it spit it back out, Strider quickly grabbed it and started walking over to the eldest of the house.

"Wait" Lincoln head snapped over to the activity. He shuttered for a moment before, forcing his tune to a more jolly one. "I mean Dave, your picture is so good, toy need to build suspense so that when you unveil it later it's more impactful?"

Dave's pace didn't slow and when he had reached Lori, she rolled her eyes at her brother's words. "I don't think it's going to kill someone if he shows me his picture Lincoln."

"You sure about that?" He muttered and he must've understood how that sounded because he quickly added "I mean. It's so good you might die of shock."

Lori brought the drawing up to her nose.

Lori lowered the sheet and looked at Dave.

Lori brought the thing back up.

She brought it up and just stood there.

"So big L, add to the metacritic score. How it hold up?" Dave asked, he gestured thumbs up and thumbs down with one hand.

"This is-" Lori had to fight something down her throat. "-good Dave. Really good. I love how-" She smiled despite the feeling of a blood vessel popping. "-detailed it is?"

She kept the expression of joy on her face and praised her will power for being able to do so.

Dave stood there and she held the picture and smiled.

Dave reached for it back and Lori squashed the mess between her two palms. "Oh whoops. I crumbled it up because of how good it is."

It was very clear that she played that last sentence back in her head as soon as she said it.

Lori cracked her neck over to closest person. Her eye had a sudden twitch in it. "Wasn't it good Lincoln?"

"Ya, great." It was obviously said more for concern of Lori then concern for Dave.

"Too bad no one will be able to see it now." Lori spoke through a tight grin.

"Don't sweat." Dave stepped back until he could tap his print with his foot. "I have toner and ink for days."

"No wait." Lori spoke, but it came out more of a low cry.

"No man, woman or child is going to be deprive of my art. In fact maybe I'll bring it with me when I start school." Dave spun around, his hand landing on his mouse once more.

"Dave, you want to explore the ventilation shafts with me?" He dropped the mouse. He looked at Lucy who had almost been forgotten.

It was hard to tell because of his neutral expression but he must've been thinking. After a couple seconds he nodded. "Sounds lit. Time to explore the hidden pathway of the Loud residence."

"Do you think he can fit?" Lincoln asked to no one in particular.

"He'll be fine Lincoln." Lucy said, marching before the vents.

"Don't worry." Dave followed her at first but with a quick hop he was all the up, holding onto the vent which he pushed upwards. "I got my ninja training to fall back on. It'll be easy."

"See Dave is sure." Lori cut in. "Relax. I insist."

She said the last part with a glare which made it obvious how she would feel to any other objection.

"Okay."

Dave shot into the vent and a second later he popped out, an arm reaching down to Lucy who grabbed up to it. She didn't move from the entrance, not until a couple moments after patting started to echo.

"You know it's not that bad Lori." Lucy stated matter of factly. "I've seen things more explicit on the Vampires of Melancholia fan forums."

"We are going to have to talk about that with mom and dad." Lori announced and Lucy's already perpetual frown deepened.

The small girl shut the vent behind her, allowing herself to disappear.

There was a intensity that died when Dave didn't come back immediately. Lori subconscious crushed the paper in her hands further to a ball.

She looked at Lincoln and then the computer that spawned whatever that was.

"Do, do you think I can get away with throwing his desktop out of the window?"


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey look author's note. Don't really have a lot of reviews on this story so I hadn't had a reason to make one. Though I did get a couple of folks wondering where on the timeline this is. Is this post-sburb, pre-sburb, etc?**

**Answer is that this is a little bit AU. Aliens, horror terrors, magic, aspects and all that still exist however, Dave is currently 13, his birthday is in December and it's near the beginning of the school year. The kids played the game in canon on 4/13 while they were all 13. So obvious something is off. What is what will be answered eventually.  
**

* * *

Lori announced to the room. "And that's why I decided to have a quick sister meeting with only the most mature of us.

"It's just me dude." Luna sat on her bed. Her guitar acted as a sort of barrier between her and her sister who was standing by her bedroom door. She subconsciously strummed on it.

"The most mature of us." Lori repeated.

"You think maybe you overreacting?" Luna flinched for many reasons when a crinkled up sheet was shoved in her face. She released the page from it's ball form. "Oh crumpet. I can see why you didn't invite Luan."

Lori shuddered as she walked to Luna's side. "Oh you know she would have a field day with this."

"Why don't we just-" Luna shrugged her shoulders, "-let Dave know that he might want to change his style up a bit."

"Remember what I said. About making sure everything is safe."

Luna cocked an eyebrow, "Ya and we've all been on it."

"We don't know what Dave has been through. What if he's been through hell and the only thing keeping him sane is drawing whatever this is?" Lori gave the sheet a smack with the back of her hand. "I'm literally not going to be responsible if we end up putting him into an emotionally driven coma or something,"

"I'm not saying to go berserk on him." Luna strummed a bit more. "Just ease him into changing his style."

"Maybe." Lori considered it.

A couple notes filled the air. Luna looked at her older sister. "What about Lynn?"

"What about Lynn?" Lori huffed, bringing her hands to her hips.

"Shouldn't she be here? Like you said Lincoln saw it without psychological scars and he's younger."

There was an obvious scoff. "Only physically."

"Come on." Luna whined, "It's awkward if it's only us two."

There was a show made of rolling her eyes, but Lori leaned over the bedroom door and cracked it open.

"Lynn." She cried out for the sporty girl.

There was barely anytime between a cry of "I didn't do it." rang and the sporty girl ran to Lori's voice.

"I don't care-" Lori started, but pausing her thought, she scanned her little sister from head to toe. "Wait, what didn't you do?"

Lynn shrugged.

"Just get in here." Lori decided to just pretend that it was a gut reaction on Lynn's part and hustled her in the room. "We have a crisis afoot."

Lynn looked at Luna and then back at Lori. "What's up?"

"This." Lori threw the sheet into Lynn's face. "Dave drew this" The girl shouted. "and now he wants to show mom and dad and everyone who goes to the school. The same school that you go to and we can't say anything cause he thinks it's good apparently." Her hands began to tremor. Her nails burrowing holes in the paper. "but we can't let this get out. We can't."

"Um Lori." Luna cut in "I think this would be more constructive if Lynn was talking back or doing anything really." The rockstar turned her head to get a better look at her little sister. "Like I don't remember her blinking in the last minute."

Not only was the girl with the ponytail not blinking, but there was a bead of drool that had started to form on the corner of her lips.

"Lynn, are you okay." Lori swooped down, cupping Lynn's shoulders. She gave a little shake and got no response. The blonde turned back to the purple clad sister. "I told you she couldn't handle it."

"Woah, time in." Lynn reacted to the obvious challenge. She shook her head. "I'm good coach."

Lori gave a sigh of relief before smiling. "Okay okay good. I don't think I have to tell you why we can't let this get out."

She waved the sheet in the air.

"Totally." Lynn brought up both hands and smacked them together, forcing the sheet in half and covering the offending drawing. "I'm just gonna get rid of this. Put it away where no one could find it. Ever."

She skipped out of the room and towards the stairs.

"Okay, that takes care of that." Luna said.

"Until he reprints it." Lori reminded. "And if he did it once, he can do it again. We might have to get rid of all the ink in the house. First we should figure out where Dave is."

The moment these words came out of her mouth there was a large thud. It sounded like a metal plate crashing onto the ground.

Luna lifted her chin slightly, "Well judging by that, I'd say Lincoln's room." Lincoln's old room she meant. She had to remind herself that the boy was no longer in the hall closet.

* * *

Leni didn't seem to really be bothered when the grate fell from the wall and nearly took out a couple of her toes. She didn't seem bothered when her raven hair sister scurried out like some overgrown nightcrawler either.

"Oh, hey Lucy." Leni eyed the grate. Though she didn't seem worried by the falling hunk of metal. It looked like she has coincidently had been focusing on that spot of the floor anyway. She sighed.

Lucy stood up. She had a momentary impasse. On one hand. Apparent misery was pleasing for her. On the other hand she did like her sisters. The goth girl opened her mouth and immediately her trail of thought was shattered as another set of feet jetted out the vent.

"Hey Luce, hold up." Dave flawlessly spilled out. His fingertips held onto the vents but other then that it looked like he was standing perfectly on the wall at a 45 degree angle.

"Dave" Leni eyes lit up. "Lola said you disappeared forever."

"Well ya." Dave said. His expression was hard to read behind his favored shades. "That got boring so I'm here now."

"Yay" Leni cheered.

"Woah now, Loud." Dave had to press his back against the wall in order to stay out of reach of the approaching sister. "I'll have you know that I'm on a mission of the most importance here. Reason I ninja'd through the vents. I got a task and my creed won't let me drop it."

Leni tilted her head. "A mission?"

"I will be the bro-kage." Dave remarked, not paying attention to the blonde's confusion.

"What mission?"

It was impossible to see behind Dave's shades but even Leni could've sworn that there was a spark behind them. "To unite the world with my art as it's banner."

* * *

There was a knock on the door. That was then judged to have been to polite because the time between it and Lori kicking the door nearly off it's hings could've caused whiplash.

Lori commended "Stop."

"In the name of love," Luna added "before you-"

"Seriously?" To be fair at least Luna had the decency to look sleepish as Lori glared at her.

The vent shifted. It closed behind someone. The sisters didn't have to guess who as the only one still left in the hall closet was Leni who clenched a sheet of paper in one hand while waving her arm at her sisters like a dog would it's tail. "Hi Lori, Hi Luna."

Lori glared at the vent. "Where is he going now?"

"He's playing with Lucy." Leni explained, not realizing that wasn't the answer her sister was looking nor the full extent of Dave's actions. "But check this out. Dave drew me something."

"Leni, wait." Lori's steps grew slow. She reached out her arm but the limited space of the closet seem to be anything but as Lori failed to reach her sister.

The pollyanna took a step back. Her innocent smile wide as she stretched out her arms to get the widest view. She held up the paper and frowned.

"I don't get it."

Lori blinked. She had expected something disastrous. Her sister was both oversensitive and couldn't keep a secret for the life of her. Exactly what they didn't need on their plate right now.

Even worse was that the girl was innocent. Lori didn't know how hard the extent of Dave's 'talent' would hit her.

Turns out that Lori had absolutely nothing to worry about because Leni was even more naive then she thought. Which was fine. It was nice to know that no matter what Leni would be the sweet and innocent girl that Lori grew up with.

"Oh, wait. I'm holding it upside down."

Damn it.

"Oh it's a-" was all she was able to get out before her throat vomited an unexpected scream. Leni recoiled and hissed. With one hand she rubbed the sudden patch of pain that occupied her neck.

"Lori. what gives?" Luna spat. She turned to Lori who stood with her elbow bent and hand up, looking ready to give another chop if the need aroused.

"I don't know?" It was hard to figure out if Lori was ashamed by her action or equally confused as Luna was.

"You don't know?" Luna repeated much louder.

"I think I was trying to knock her out."

"That like, really hurt, guys." Leni let out a hot breath as she started to rub down her neck with double palms. "Yowch"

The blonde let out another shriek as the side of a hand collided with her temple.

"Lori." Luna scolded.

"I'm trying to protect her innocence." The eldest finally burst out.

"It's like, too late for that." Leni managed to get her. She shot her arms up. Dave's sheet flapped in the air as she did. The normally ditzy girl took a deep breath in and shot it out as she composed herself. Touching the tip of her fingers on the paper, treating it with respect, she presented it front of herself.

"Like Lori." Leni started slowly, "I know that it might seem a bit strange, but everyone has their own unique taste and that is completely normal. Like you can joke about it. It can be funny or enjoyable it many ways, but you shouldn't ridicule or make anyone feel weird about it. I don't like this, but I do like a lot of things that people might find weird and I would like it if I was made fun of just for that. Everyone is different and that's okay. We should just accept that and support what makes everyone happy."

"Leni" Lori looked down to her shoes, "You're right and that was really beautiful."

The eldest peered back up and smiled at the first of her sisters.

"Oh gosh you're just saying that." The usual demeanor of the girl returned as she grew bashful. She playfully waved at the other girl.

Lori then chopped right down on Leni's adam's apple.

"Why" Leni would've probably had screamed if she could get anything out other then a deep airy gasp.

Lori tore the paper out of Leni's hand and turned. "Luna run."

"Lori I-" Luna started, only for the sister to grab her arm, directing her back to the door.

"Out out out." Lori marched, pushing the brunette to do the same until she could safely slam the door behind her.

The eldest nearly collapsed onto the door. She held up the offending piece of 'art'. "Okay, we got it and we saved Leni's purity."

"Actually," Luna piped up, "the way she was going on, we might've been a couple years too late for-"

"We. Saved. Leni's. Purity." Lori said through gritted teeth.

"I'm back." Lynn stood by. Dirt on her shirt. Dirt in her shoes. Dirt in her hair. She held close to her a shovel just about her height. It's handle rest on the carpet.

"Okay great. Where did you bury it?" Lori asked. She didn't let her little sister answer, instead choosing to shake her head. "Actually it doesn't matter cause you're going back."

Lynn got a face full of Dave's newest 'work' as it was shoved into her hands.

"Oh man." She whined either because of the new load of work dropped in front of her or the subject of said load.

"So Lori, what are we doing?" Luna watched as Lynn walked back downstairs and presumably out of the house, "I mean are we talking to the dude, or we just gonna follow him around stealing his drawings until we're like fifty?"

"Well…" Lori said, knowing that her sister wasn't going to like her answer.

"Lori."

"There is literally no guarantee that we live that long. Stuff happens." Lori knew how wonderful the sweet release of death sounded that moment.

There was a thud; so loud and sudden that both girls tried to shrink their spines as to brace against an unseen danger.

"What was that?" Luna grabbed onto her sister's arm. She was half hiding behind the sibling.

"The antic. Quickly."

* * *

Lori barely bothered to unhatch the attic's trap door.

"Dave. You up here?" She pushed her head upwards against it, getting a peak at the room.

"Hey Lori." It was a very obviously feminant voice, definitely not Dave. "Boy, you had your hands full before, but the number of kids in this house is really going through the roof.".

Three guesses as to who that and the first two don't count. "Get it?"

"Luan." Lori stated flatly. She felt like avoid the jokester for multiple reasons. She was an unnecessary distraction during a dire situation, but also because she didn't want Luan to have her nose in what her older sister was trying to spare them from.

The blonde was content with lowering herself out of the roof space and back into the bedroom hallway. In fact the trap door was a hair length from being close when the brace face spoke up.

"So the thing is. I was wondering why you were running around like a chicken with your head cut off." The paper in Luan's hand made a whipping sound as she bought it in front of her. "At least I was until Dave handed me this."

Oh dear lord.

"And I have to say-" Lori wondered as the braceface opened her mouth if she could shove her mouth shut before whatever cringy joke could be made. As it was Lori didn't even have an arm in the antic let alone enough time to jump up and shove the sheet down her throat.

The eldest could only suspend herself where she was. There was a voice telling her to flee but she was stuck like a deer in the headlights as Luan breathed in.

"Meh."

Lori blinked "What?"

"Like I'm not really into it" Luan actually looked bored. A rare sight. "Like not my taste."

"So you don't mind if I just take this?" Lori nearly tripped over herself as she took a step upwards until her knees could touch the antic floor. She reached slowly with the tip of two fingers at the aforementioned paper.

"To each their own sis." The younger of the two shrugged.

"Not funny." Lori dismissed it. She didn't bother looking at the sheet to examine something that she was sure was horrible. Instead she smiled at her sister. "Y'know Luan I thought you would just shoot off a bunch of jokes after seeing something like this. I have to say you can be really mature sometimes."

"Well it looked like a bad time so I thought about skipping it-" Luan said matter of factly.

"That's really thoughtful." Lori approved.

"-but if you insist." Luan smiled before inhaling deeply to unleash a gag.

"I take it all back."

* * *

This time Lori didn't have to look to know that Lynn was right beside her, probably even dirtier than she had been before. She just waved the sheet to the side and allowed it to be grabbed from her hand. "Another one."

"Damn it." Lynn cursed and without another word sped right back out.

Luna watched her younger sister leave before informing her older sister: "We do have a shredder y'know."

Lori just hushed. "Don't tell her. She thinks she's helping."

"Okay. Who's next." Luna pushed ahead with the more pressing issue.

"Leni and Luan are down" The blonde counted on her fingers. "Lincoln and Lucy have already seen it."

"Crap." Said Luna, she had known about Lincoln but Lucy was only nine.

"Don't worry too much." Lori advised, "By the by, remind me to talk to dad later about Lucy's internet usage." The eldest sister peered through the corner of her eyes "Either dad or a priest."

"Mom and dad aren't home yet." Luna named the last potential audience to Dave's art show.

"Woah," Lori eyes grew wide. She actually found the will to smile. "Luna does that mean we're in the clear?"

Luna grew a smile to match Lori's. "I actually think so sis."

Bliss.

It had only been about ten minutes but the panic felt like it took months. With all family members accounted for they could stop focusing on controlling the damage and actually fixing it.

They still had to talk to Dave about it and that would be awkward, but the two of them had gotten this far and it has been by working together that they eventually got things onto the right track.

Than Lola crash right into her leg.

The six year old stumbled for a moment, gave her a death glare but instead of addressing how apparently her older sister committed the sin of simply standing in her way, she moved around her.

"Lana." The kid cried out. "Dave said he was going to draw us something."

Lori immediately decided that she had insults fly out of the brat's mouth.

Lana cried out soon after. "I wanna see." She followed her twin to their room completely ignoring the petrified blonde in the middle of the hall.

"Uh-oh" Luna did a sympathetic hiss. Less at her younger sisters' incoming loss of innocence and more at the fact that Lori suddenly gain a very prominent twitch in her eye.

Luna wonder if she should've said anything at all.

She went for it anyway.

"Lori?"

"Just give me a moment." Lori casually said as she laid down on the floor.

She tried not to cry.

She cried a lot.

After about a minute that Luna could only describe as just plain awkward. Lori wiped her face and stood back up as if nothing happened. "Okay let's go."

* * *

Dave unfolded his doodle. He had a ordinary pencil in one hand meaning that his latest work was hand drawn as suppose to pre printed. Lola and Lana pushed against each other with their ears to get a look.

"Gross." Lola shrieked.

"Cool." Lana contrast.

No other words before the door was smashed open with all the authoritarian fury of an overprotective older sister. "Back away. They're minors."

"Well technically we're all minors." Luna looked for less impressive in comparison as she hastily followed in Lori's trail. She had about one step for every five of Lori's quick and panicked stomps.

"Cover your eyes." Lori swooping down upon the the nearest twin in her arm. In this case it was the fussy Lola who let out a "hey" as she struggled against the older sibling. Lori was desperately trying to octopus her arms around the girl's head.

"Okay." Lana was less demanding. Surrendering to the command despite not being in her doppleganger's position. Her compliance lasted all of three seconds. "Why are we doing this?"

"Give me that." Lori didn't have to use so much force to relinquish the piece from the boy. He just let it go as she snatched it away.

There was a small rest before Lori was reminded that she trying to avoid admitting her true feelings about Dave's 'masterwork'. She adopted a much more 'sympathetic' tone. "I just need to keep Dave's art cause he probably worked really hard on it and you two are not careful."

Lori said that sentence again in her head."Ya that makes sense."

"Okay." Lana said, eyes still shut. "But how come I have to cover my peepers?"

"To also not mess it up. I don't want you-" The gears in Lori's head could be heard grinding against each other. "-staring at it too hard?"

"It is theorized that observing a subject that change it's behavior." A new voice joined into the fray. Lisa as it turns out was just casually passing through and decided to stick her head in for a moment. "While that is normally referring to the tendency of electrons to shift from waves into particles. One can never be too careful with delicate subject."

"Right" Lori didn't really care too much about the exact details but she did grasp that the statement supported her overall. "Thank you Lisa."

Lisa gave her overworded version of a 'You're welcome' before walking away as suddenly as she arrived.

"See, so no looking." Lori finalized. "No staring, no glimpsing. We have to put this and the rest of Dave's drawings in a safe place where future generations can enjoy long after I'm dead."

"Hey no fair." Lola whined. The princess couldn't even whip her hair at the injustice of it all. "I was going to have Dave draw me next. All we got to see was Lana's dumb frog."

"Lola so help me I will-" Lori was ready to bite at the pageant star. Instead she ended up biting her own tongue. "Wait what?"

"Looks just like Hops." Lana felt excitement for her little frog friend. "I think he would approve."

It was at that moment that Lori realized that she hadn't looked at the newly acquired sheet. She admended that.

It was a thing. She motioned to Luna. Her sister was understandably weary but she peered over Lori's shoulder any way. The two exchanged looks and then the rocker girl just shrugged.

"I don't understand. This is normal." Lori said slowly as her eyes shifted the noticeably smirking Dave who until then had remained quiet.

"A little bit different from my last work, huh?"

"Yes." Lori didn't know if she should be caution or rageful at that admission "Yes it is."

"Hey even I know not to show something borderline illegal to some six year olds." Dave brought his arms up in defense. "Not without the anonymity of the internet. In that case you can check out my flash game Blarney gets a C section."

The twins were forgotten. The drawing was too. Lori dropped it, allowing the paper to float down to the floor. All she cared about was closing the distance between her and Dave.

She got close enough that her stomach touched his nose and glared down at him. "Explain."

"Well a C section is when-"

She balled his shirt in her fist and yanked upwards, lifting him off the ground. "The drawing."

Dave ah'd as if he didn't know what she was talking about from the beginning. "Well I didn't go all out on that drawing. Anything worth doing is worth doing the worst way possible. That's the Strider ninja way." He thought for a moment. "I was getting a little tired of you guys getting into my bubble even before crawling through the vents and hearing that you think one drawing is the only thing keeping me from offing myself or some shit. I figured if you were going to treat me like a future foster kid horror story then I might as well have some fun with it."

Lori blinked. "Oh um I." He was in the vents of course he overheard her. She should've figured that immediately.

"It's not like I moseyed down to foster care and ask for their luxury suite." Lori would've thought he was irritated if not for the nonchalant way he seemed to describe the whole thing. "I don't think my heads crooked. That was decided for me."

Lori opened her mouth. "I wasn't trying to-"

"Ding ding" Dave mimicked, "I demand a key to your best foster home. Make sure there's fresh towel and a piece of mint chocolate on my pillow. "

"Just wanted to make sure you were comfy and-"

"Just gonna let you know that I'm not going to tip the bellboy"

"Guess looking back I was being a little bit patronizing but I-"

"-cause I'm that much of an asshole."

Lori sighed and reached out pressing her palm firmly against the boy's mouth. "Dave, I'm sorry."

Dave paused as his feet gently touched the floor once more. "Oh cool.

For a second it looked like he didn't know what to do with himself. It seemed like he had been prepared to monologue for a lot longer then he had but couldn't because he prematurely got the point across.

He spoke. "While your sisters trying to jam food in my mouth wasn't exactly doing anything for me before, could they do that again? My ass is actually starving now."

* * *

As it turned out, enough time had passed during the art fiasco that the Loud mother and father were able to sneak right in while the kids weren't paying attention. The whole house was accounted for and prepared for dinner. Well almost.

"Lynn, You're filthy. Go and clean yourself up." The mother of the Louds scolded. "Honestly I don't know what you kids get into sometimes.

The named girl groaned but marched upstairs anyway. Even she had to admit that the dirt in her hair was likely to fall straight into her plate.

"So ground rule. Make a drawing like that again and I'll bend your spine back enough that'll we be able to use you as a spare tire." Lori said at the dinner table.

It had been coincidental that the eldest and Dave would end up sitting next to each other.

"Wow damn and here I thought you were trying to be all welcoming and shit." Dave said. He didn't smile but his tone made it clear that he was far from intimidated. "I turned from little orphan Annie to Violet Baudelaire in no time at all."

"Seriously." Lori insisted that he at least pretend to respect her authority.

"I got it." Dave lifted both hands in surrender. "I'll leave my artwork off the fridge and on the darkest corner of the internet where it belongs."

"I rather you not do that at all."

Daddy Loud had been walking back and forth, setting up the table but found a moment to step between the two. "Hey kids." He beamed, "What you're talking about?"

Lana sat on Lori's side. "Lori's talking about Dave's-"

"Nothing dad." The seating arrangement made it much easier for the eldest to quiet down the girl, even if that meant suffering as the kid licked her hand.

"Well I hope you kids are ready for my frank and beans." Lynn Loud Sr smiled despite his confusion and twisted his hip to get the meal. With around quick turn the pot was set down and everyone was able to get a full plate.

"Looks delicious, honey." Rita said as she sat amongst her children.

"It looked good last week too" Lori played up a bored expression "and the week before and the week before."

"Dad's a chef." Lincoln leaned over to Dave.

"That means his cooking's good." Luna continued, "But he also used to working from the same menu."

"Kids don't be like that." Rita waved them off. "Dave will get his chance to be bored of your dad's cooking later, but I want to see him try it now."

The Louds sans Lynn Jr looked at Dave.

Dave looked back at them and then down to his plate.

He sank his fork down the middle of the mush, move together a couple of beans before lifting the utensil to his mouth.

Chew and swallow.

"Well, what do you think?" Rita asked.

Dave smiled. "I think this might be the best thing I have ever stuffed into my face."

They all smiled back.

* * *

Dave's first day at the Loud House ended with music. Specially Luna was able to amp up her guitar now that they all knew not to go easy on Dave.

They were all able to get back to their rhythm as they ended their day. Lincoln could hear Lola demanding something from her room, Luan was laughing up a storm to the obvious frustration of Lynn and he pretty sure the tung on the back of his scalp was thanks to Lisa plucking out some of his hair.

Everyone was back to their routine. Why not get back to his.

"So I think I learned something today." Lincoln said to the reader as he waited in the bathroom line.

"Sometimes when you think you're being positive you can end up going overboard and end up further away from someone you're trying to get close to." Lola shot right out of the bathroom, meaning it was Lincoln's turn. He didn't hesitate, grabbing right for his tooth brush. He squeeze a line of paste onto the brush.

"We were trying to make him feel welcomed, but we ended up suffocating him. He probably felt like we felt like he was a burden." Lincoln shove the utensil in his mouth. He made sure it touched each one of his teeth and then gave them a good scrub. He spat into the sink.

"He's not someone we have to baby. He's just another kid and we should just act like it. I just hope he can handle the full Loud house experience." Grabbing a towel, Lincoln wiped his face as he walked into his new room. He took a second to allow his eyes to adjust. He didn't feel like waking up his new brother, out like a log on one of two beds in the room.

"That's funny." Lincoln said to no one like always. "Dave even wears his sunglasses when he's sleeping. I better take those off for him. He wouldn't want them to break." The white hair boy gave a nudge to no one in particular before stepping over to the blonde with the shades. He reached out to him.

There was absolutely no time between the moment he stretched out his limb and his back hitting the floor.

He hadn't even realized that his back was in pain at first, that he had been pushed down. The red distracted from it. Two red orbs that Lincoln could only gain a glimpse of beyond pure darkness. It took him a bit to realize that they were Dave's irises. He hadn't seen them before. He doubted anyone had, seeing how protective of his shades Dave was.

There was no better description of how unnerved the eyes made Lincoln other than the fact that he noticed them long before he noticed the box cutter that Dave had raised in one hand. Lincoln realized then that Dave was the one who pushed him. That the boy was pressing down with his weight, holding him down as he had a potential weapon drawn.

"Dave." The boy barely had a nerve to squeak.

The moment when Lincoln was sure Dave would plunge the box cutter down, something unexpected happened. His wrist relaxed. Dave slumped for a second before pushing himself off of Lincoln using his legs alone. The boy smacked his mouth, dry tongue probably. He rubbed his cheek with his palm.

"Sorry." Dave's voice was the mutter of someone who had just woken up. It betray his earlier quick and precise movements. Lincoln hadn't realized that the other boy even utter an apology at first. His posture was too relax. He was treating the assault like someone who found out they were snoring.

Dave stepped and even though his eyes fell off of Lincoln the white haired kid never stopped looking at Strider. The blanket was flipped and pulled until around the blonde like a cacoon.

He shifted once more, fighting down a yawn as he whispered just loud enough to be heard. "Thought you were Bro."


	5. Chapter 5

**I kind of forgot that I never posted this chapter up on FF net. I think I was probably waiting for me to finish an update for another story but I never got around to it. Or maybe because there was some Pesterchat stuff here and you can't format it as well as you can on Ao3. I probably should just put this up so it doesn't look like I'm dead or something.**

**jax dancher: ya, I feel you. Loud House fanfics can be a real mix bag and can sometimes they go _interesting_ directions. I might poke some fun at that later in this story.  
**

* * *

Lincoln completely rolled onto his side. He spent the entire night on an angle, somewhere between on his back so it looked like he was getting ready to sleep and on his side where he could slip his foot on the ground if it looked like Dave rocked himself awake again. This lasted all night. A single eye tracked Strider for hours. Eventually, Lincoln didn't know when, he lost the battle of self-preservation. His eyelids got heavy and he fell on his side, not to run but to curl into himself.

His eyes closed completely.

"Hey Lincoln." The words for neutral but they strike through Lincoln's eardrums like lightning. The white-haired boy gripped his blanket to lose the extra weight at the same time trying to dash away. His body couldn't figure out which one to do both so he ended but tumbling off the end with his sheets spiraling around him. There was a crash.

Dave took a sip of apple juice. He hung from the doorframe of their now shared room. He wasn't in his bed. He wasn't in the dark. The house wasn't dark.

"Well Loud," Dave took another sip, "I got to say that's pretty shit escape technique. You could meet a master, go through a three year time skip and that sauce would still be weak."

Lincoln groaned, perhaps to argue in favor of his sweet moves.

"Anyway when you're done with that, bathroom's empty. The girls are all downstairs eating. I'm gonna go drop down cause eating every meal together is somehow strapped to this whole foster care package.

Lincoln groaned again, this time because he probably realized that it was now morning.

"Peace."

* * *

Four door clicks open. The family van was a monster of a vehicle. It had to be to fit a dozen kids plus parents. Lori adjusted her mirrors as her siblings shuffled into the rows and rows of seats.

Basically everyone was in already by the time Lincoln crashed onto his seat.

Lynn would've found it funny if she wasn't worried, "Woah bro, you alright?"

"I'm fine." Lincoln scrambled around until he could sit up and get his seatbelt on. The moment of competence was almost enough to get his sister off his back, but then unprompted he had to add "Y'know Lori hasn't completely put down her alarm system. The light from it still blinks once every 743 Mississippi seconds."

He said this with both certainty and familiarity.

Lori peered at her brother through the rearview window. "Oh I'm sorry about that Linky." She twisted around her seat to look at him. "It didn't keep you up did it?"

"Ya, that what kept me up," Lincoln pitched up his voice, "and not the realization of my own mortality."

Lucy stood up from her seat behind Lincoln. "That always gives me such good dreams."

Luna didn't bother to tell Lucy to sit back down. Her glance nudged Dave, "Nervous dude?"

Dave shrugged "Never am."

"I bet," Luna smiled, "Just remember, you have Lynn and Lincoln as back up."

Lynn didn't notice Lincoln sink into his seat and she was next to him. It was safe to say that neither Dave nor Luna noticed the moment.

Lori was about to close her side door. She didn't. Her mom was in the way, just standing there. The two exchange looks that ended in the matron giving her a little sweeping motion.

"Mom? You're going to be driving?" Lori translated.

"Sorry for stealing your thunder sweetie," Rita Loud politely apologized, "but it's Dave first day at school and your father and I thought it might be better if one of us were there to see him off today and your father couldn't take off the restaurant."

Lori just shrugged. She didn't have any commitment to the chore. She scooted over to the passenger's seat, forcing Leni to circle around to the back of the van.

Rita Loud readjusted her mirrors before addressing the car. "Ready kids? Ready Dave?" She gave the newest member a bit of extra attention.

"Born ready Mrs Loud." Dave said, looking at the mother through the seats.

"Mom? You're not gonna leave the car, are you?" Lynn cautiously asked. "It's not gonna look cool if people think Dave needs someone to hold his hand on the way to homeroom."

"I'm insulted that you think that there's a possibility that I can look uncool." Dave would've whined if he wasn't too cool for whining. He instead snarked.

* * *

There was a sea of kids that stomped through the halls of Royal Woods Junior High. It might've been an amazing sight but Lynn had two previous years to get used to it, Lincoln had a month and Dave was just against showing an interest in the place. It was his quest to try hard at looking like he wasn't trying.

Lynn was happy that the three of them could blend into the crowded halls so well. "Man, mom was doing everything but pinching your cheeks. Good thing we're here to stop her from doing anything really embarrassing, right Lincoln?"

The sporty girl turned to her blood brother. He was looking anywhere but back at her.

"Hey I think I see Clyde." He announced. "I'm going to go." Lincoln left before another word could be said by anyone.

"Weird, what's up with him?" Lynn turned to Dave for any kind of clue. The blonde just shrugged. Lynn didn't give it another thought. She turned back to the more important task at hand. "Stick close Dave. I'll show you my turf," she said presenting the land of wonder that was a middle school hallway.

They stopped at Dave's new locker.

Lynn stared down the other end of the wall. On the other end was another girl, with messy hair and buck teeth. Lynn stood on her tippy toes before waving, "Hey Margo." She turned to Dave. "I'm gonna talk to my friend for a second. You think you'll be good?"

"I don't know Loud, 3 whole numbers?" Dave was giving the locker a lot of attention, but at the same time, he was giving it none at all. "I can't even be put in charge of the fine details of fluffing my own pillow."

Lynn rolled her eyes at the snark, before countering, "I think you'll be fine as long as you don't start graffiting 'things'

Lynn skipped away from her new 'brother', over to her friend. Margo stuck her long nose around Lynn's shoulder. "Lynn. Who's the new meat?"

"You got my text, right?" It was a rhetorical question. Lynn knew that she did. "That's the guy."

"Ah." Margo said neutrally.

Lynn didn't often seem careful or even shy, but she was. "Like I just wanted to say again-"

"I know," Margo nodded, "Be cool."

A leap and the two were back at Dave. He had one hand up, palm flat, holding something like a dead rat.

He did a double-take as Lynn approached. "Oh cool Loud, hold this." Lynn had a second before the boy plopped something on her cupped hands.

It was a padlock split into two pieces. It was something normally attached to a locker.

"How did you-" Lynn decided to forget that line of questioning as Dave opened his locker by pulling on a seemingly carved out hole. "Anywhere. Here's Margo."

Lynn presented her chum who gave a lazy wave.

"Wait." Dave raised a hand. Not a major gesture but for him it was the equivalence of being at full alarm. Defcon 5. "I wasn't expecting company. I need at least a five minute warning to get my swag on. Like I got to climb into my closet, take the hanger down, then bucker up like seventy buttons. Got my shit from the Steve Harvey collection. It is-"

Lynn slapped a hand right over his face hole." He will do this forever if we let him."

Margo laughed politely, "Aw you don't have to put on anything for me."

"Shit." Dave snapped his head back from his foster sister's iron grip. "You're just budging in on a Strider in his birthday suit. Story of my life. I can barely leave the shower without at least one femme fatale trying to claim their stake on me."

"I would want lunch instead." Said the girl.

Dave stepped back, fully freeing himself from Lynn. He smirked "You're a romantic type. Don't trust my sweet shades. I'm swooning or the closest to it I'll allow myself to be."

Margo rolled her eyes. It was more playful then Lynn would've thought. "I already told Lynn I'd hang out with her today, but maybe I'll see you around."

She waved. When she stepped away. Dave called out "Don't go too far mankiller. I can only beat back ladies with a stick for so long."

His wave lasted until his gut got well acquitted with Lynn's elbow. "What was that?"

"Her teeth were cute." Dave took his binder from his newly packed locker. He almost looked sincere for a moment. That plus the fact that Margo was Lynn's friend made the girl not want to point out that Margo had buck teeth that most people found goofy. Dave's smugness quickly returned. "Damn, I thought you already knew I was a sex symbol"

"Oh ya, so glorious." Lynn rolled her eyes before taking a moment to mock worship his majesty. She stopped. "Seriously. Man you waste no time at all."

"Thanks." He looked pleased.

"Should I be insulted?" Lynn referred to their first introduction.

"Nah." Dave cleared up "I just don't wanna end up hitting on my new sisters. Set up is sketchy enough as it is. We're nearly in weeb harem territory. This whole biz is one naked bathroom happenstance from having a overly long title." He took a moment to craft a best seller. "'My ass got adopted and now my siblings are too close.' I almost want to write that shit myself."

"Huh?"

There was an unheard sigh. "Do me a favor. When we get back to the crib, dig under your brother's bed and don't stop reading until you realize the levels of trash someone can cannonball into."

Well at least he gave her sort of an answer. "What's your first class?"

"Math, Mr Ish." Dave shut his locker door. As shut as it could get without a proper lock.

"Lucky, that's what I got."

"I know Mama Loud told everyone that she had to river city rampage through the school just to make sure our schedule synched up."

Lynn released a spit filled laugh. "I wish my mom was some kind of badass." She would do anything for a roundhouse kick to a teacher's face via a parent.

"I know something about badasses." Dave didn't look impressed.

The class was normal enough. Bit less kids in the classroom then normal. At least that's what Dave thought. It wasn't like he was an expert.

Lynn trailed over to a seat easily enough, but Dave stopped in front of the room. There were eyes on him.

The teacher gave him a wide-eyed look from behind his glasses. Mr Ish was taller then Dave, but Dave was thirteen. It wasn't an accomplishment. The man had a gigantic nose and a bushy mustache. His mustache was notable cause when combined with the man jerry curls, it made him look like he stepped right out of the 80s.

"Well isn't this a new face." The man placed his hands on his hips in a faux stern manner. He smiled at the kid. " You must be Dave."

"Well either that or I just wandered into a random school and no one has stopped me." You could see the words on his face before he could even think of them. "Wait, that sounds like a wasted opportunity. You mind if I do that tomorrow instead of coming into class?"

"I don't quite have tenure yet." The way the man brought a finger to his chin would make someone think he actually would allow it if he did.

"Come on teach." Dave begged without doing something as uncool as begging. "Give in to the youthful rebellion. I need the time to flex my swagger. Stunt into some rich kid campus with a sideways cap, a chain hanging low and a boombox on my shoulders; spitting the sweetest rhymes. Then as the dean is clutching her pearls and the 80s movie villain is flaring his nasals I drop the sickest beat that can go with record scratches and cowbells."

Dave paused. He felt like something else was needed to finish the improvised epic he had constructed "r/madlads."

There was a moment when Dave just stood there. The teacher just peered at him. Then just when there looked like a dangerously high chance that Mr Ish was going to leave him hanging the man just let out a laugh.

"I love it." The teach bellowed. "Y'know Dave I am a bit into hip hop myself. They loved to call me Grandmaster TI." The man allowed his arms to dance like snakes until he could visually spell out the two letters.

"Y'know like Grandmaster Flash. Though I haven't dropped any singles like the message so instead of counting numbers, I'm just counting numbers if you know what I'm saying." The man laughed. "Especially with a teacher's salary." He laughed again. "Now why don't you find yourself a seat and I'll break some of this algebra down for you?"

Dave went through the class easily enough. He knew math well enough that he probably should've been in a higher level Math class than Lynn. He listened enough just to make sure he knew everything. A few of his seat neighbors spoke to him. None of them did it twice. This continued onto his next class and the one after that, until lunch.

* * *

Dave chose to spend his lunch at the computer lab. He had the foresight to bring his tablet. The school was equipped with photoshop.

A digital pen hovered over the tablet. The toolbar on the screen blinked. It was some generic browser, the same one the Louds had at their place: Kvasir or something like that. Either way, it was popped open so Dave could see the browser version of pesterchum.

**tentacleTherapist**: Dave

**TT**: Strider

**turntechGodhead**: Out of all the corners of the internet, she had to walk into mine.

**TG**: Don't get me wrong, I'm down for the digital hang out, tagging virtual reality and catfishing pedophiles, but you have school, right? Or is that something only for us plebs?

**TT**: well you know me. Not even the thaws of the American school system can stop me from my daily dose of lame.

**TT**: i trust that your current accommodations are to your liking

**TG**: yah. Shit is lit for now. I already have clamoring at the sight of brilliance.

**TG**: what was it that one sis said?

**TG**: that my works should be persevered for future generations.

**TT**: brilliant. then I see that the relationship is symbiotic. they feed you praise and you provide shelter from the elements with your inflated head.

**TG**: shit the world could only be so lucky.

**TG**: the world could use this handsome exterior broadcast on a big screen. 15 seconds of me and some cities could probably break even on their football stadiums.

**TG**: but enough about me, how is the Lalonde Manor doing?

**TG**: Jade?

**TT**: :(

**TT**: how did you know it was me?

**TG**: Can't pull a fast one on me Harley. Behind my cool is a computer like mind going a thousand miles per hour. They might as well stamp an Intel logo on the side of my head.

**TG**: Plus you didn't spare a moment to question me about my sexuality at least once.

**TT**: should I? :B

**TG**: first, you've been spending too much time pestering John

**TG**: second, I don't know. I'm pretty sure Freud would say yes, but then again according to Freud you also want to steal your dad's dick. Poor guys have to prepare their extra schlongs cause there are birds going around snatching their junks like men's private's bits are a cold bowl of cereal and they're a cartoon breakfast mascot.

**TT**: gross :)

**TG**: so how is Lalonde doing? Probably having a laugh or the closest degree of smugness that approximates a laugh.

**TT**: nah Rose isn't here. shes at school

**TT**: which is why I was able to sneak on her computer for a bit. I am getting settled so I didnt get to go.

**TT**: i wanted to see how you are doing.

**TT**: so

**TT**: how are you doing?

**TG**: I'm doing fine. The eleven other kids however were tip toeing like the vibrations of the floorboards could knock me over. Shit's wack.

**TT**: i'm sure they were just looking out for you

**TG:** maybe but Striders are made of tougher stuff.

**TG**: anyway I don't know why you're spoonfeeding me all this attention. I'm not the only one in the middle of a weird time. you're on mainland usa in the middle of the lalonde household, capital of internet creepypastas and high academic dick jokes. How are you doing?

**TT**: WONDERFUL. like Rose is Rose. I couldn't imagine her any other way. It's not like she's any different then she is online. She's getting along with Bec. I remember she used to have a cat so I figured Rose likes animals.

**TT**: speaking of which, you remember my Aunt Joey? I mentioned her and I'm sure Rose mentioned her. she's a veterinarian.

**TG**: sounds lit.

**TT**: ya. I got to learn a lot about animals. well it's not like i didn't know a lot already but seeing them and reading about them is really different.

**TT**: Aunt Joey took away my rifle though :(

**TG**: i feel ya harley. the number of katanas around me have dropped dramatically. I don't think I have enough to survive the harsh winter.

**TT**: ya at least Uncle Jude gave me his old flare gun. I remodeled it a little. Added some attachments so it's kind of like a rifle.

**TG**: think of it this way. You have the lalondes outnumbered. It's a three to two war against the sly dames and their constant bouts of passive aggression.

**TT**: ya. Passive aggression.

**TT**: That's totally what is going on with Rose's mom and not anything else... :(

**TT**: I don't want any war. Aunt Roxy and Aunt Joey actually argue and I don't like it.

**TT**: well Aunt Joey argues. Its one sided really.

**TG**: can't say that I understand Harley. Bro and I never really got into that. Any temperments could be decided in the dojo or out in the streets. I have no experience in the family matters, full house treatment. I've never seen some teenage daughter scream some plot relevant line as the live studio audience awws and the sad piano music plays. cut to the next scene as the dad played by the only cast member who will have a career left looks at the girl and tells her that they'll always be family. Roll credits.

**TT**: i think that was a bit sadder than you meant for it to be. I always known John was my cousin and Rose is now too but even before that I saw her as family. I see you as family too.

**TG**: call me uncle dave. I'll be the one dissing out punchlines and distracting impressions just as effective as jiggling keys in front of a toddler. I'm pretty sure that won't lead me down the path to become a religious fanatic or porn star

**TT**: that doesn't sound too bad actually. The uncle dave part. :)

**TG:** hold on a second

Dave turned his head. Lynn didn't sneak up on him, but she wasn't really trying to either. She just didn't really say anything until then, instead choosing to silently judge him while having her arms crossed.

"Like dude." The girl with the ponytail barked, "I didn't even know we had a computer lab."

She let that ring in the air as if it spoke volumes.

"Lab was our third period." It was impossible to tell, but Dave blinked behind his shades. "You were playing a baseball flash game the entire time."

"Ya. sure, whatever you say Strider." Lynn humored him. She ignored the gap in her memory, filing it as unimportant. "Why aren't you outside, y'know doing recess?"

Dave shrugged. "Got the pass from Grandmaster TI"

The girl groaned before pitching the bridge of her nose. "Please don't let anyone hear you actually call him that."

"Decided to keep my shade wearing ass exactly where it should be." Dave picked up his digital pen and started to doodle. "Inside."

"Boo." Lynn jeered. She started to grunt. "Lunch Inside Bad. Lunch outside Good."

"Brevity is the soul of wit." Dave smirked.

"Come on Dave" Dave would find it kind of hard to draw anything, digital or not with Lynn pulling on his shirt sleeve. "I was planning on starting up a soccer game. Y'know to introduce you to my friends."

"you want me to meet your clique." Dave confirmed before placing his pen back down.

"Clique," Lynn seemed offended at the word choice. "What is this, some highschool drama?"

"Junior High." Strider corrected.

Lynn gave a tissing laugh. "Ya, fine. I want you to meet my 'posse.'"

She gave 'posse' a bit of flare.

"Your crew."

"My gang."

"Hodgepodge."

"You ruined it." Lynn sighed, exacerbated.

* * *

Technically you weren't supposed to eat outside. You were supposed to hit the cafe, eat, and then wander outside when you were done. It didn't stop kids from doing so anyway and you could get away from it with a small group.

Lincoln and Clyde were a small group. Most of their other friends were busy so the two sat on a picnic-style table, feet firmly on the seat part of the furnish as they enjoyed a slightly higher seat. There was a single tree close by for a little bit of shade, great for the early parts of the school year.

Clyde took a bite out of his sandwich or whatever you would call it. It was an overcomplicated meal arranged by his folks to be as 'safe' as possible. He spoke with his mouth half full. "So what does this guy look like?"

Lincoln didn't really seem too invested in the conversation. "Kind of hard to describe."

"White shirt with red sleeves and shades?"

"Okay," Lincoln relented, "Very easy to describe. Also how?"

Clyde pointed and Lincoln's nose followed his finger.

There was the field not too far away. It was usually used for gym but it was free to use during lunch. It even had several sets of nets for the kids to use. There were kids using it now. A small group were playing between two goals. Dave was standing in the middle of them, his hands in his pockets. He didn't do anything else, even when a soccer ball collided right with his shin. When it stopped in front of him, he didn't kick it. Someone had to shrug, and step around his unmoving frame to get the ball before the game would resume as normal.

Lynn swooped around to him. It was a rare moment where she wasn't in the thick of the action. "You're not even trying."

"You got me Loud." Dave confessed. Even then he wasn't moving. Even to turn to address her. "To most people it would've looked like I wasn't moving or looking at the ball for a tactical advantage but you really peeled through all the layers and looked deep at my soul."

Lynn made a 'T' with her hands to someone of unimportance. "Yo time." She turned back to Dave. "Come on dude. I built you up."

"I thought I made it clear that any expectations would be torn down for shits and giggles."

There was a half-second urge to smack the other kid. "What's the deal? Come on. I just want to play a quick game."

"I don't see what I get out of this." Shrug.

"Name your price." Admittedly this wasn't the first time Lynn had to make a bargain with a sibling just to get a sparring partner.

The thing was that Dave only recently became a sibling. He wasn't used to making a deal. "Not for sell, Loud."

"Everyone wants something." Lynn scoffed. "Are you really that scared of playing one game?" Wait that's it right? You're intimidated by how good I am." It was hard to tell if she was taunting him or if she honestly came onto that idea. "I know I'm good Dave, but I'm not that good. I mean I'm only human. Winning against me isn't impossible, just very unlikely. You just gotta put the ball in the net."

"Ya, but what's my motivation?" Dave pondered like an actor on a movie set.

"I'll just owe you one." Lynn said, then her eyes lit up like an idea had materialized between her ears. "Actually ya. Let's call it a bet. You score a single goal against me and my team you get one favor. Whatever it is."

"And if I don't?"

Lynn didn't bother with that aspect. She wasn't going to lose so she didn't need to gain anything from the risk. "You're already out here. That's basically all I wanted. I'm just gonna bother you later if you refuse to play. Ask Lincoln." Her brother was not the closest to her in age while still being young enough to boss around.

"Alright." Dave agreed. He peered around Lynn to the net. He smirked, "So you're gonna call it?"

The girl with the ponytail looked just delighted for a moment. She finally found something to get through the shades wearing jerk. She turned around, throwing a signal over to one of her friends who had the ball. Lynn signaled to one kid holding the ball in his arms. The guy forgo the rules just this once to heave the ball overhead over to the Loud.

"Okay, let's get back to it." Lynn ordered before she lifted the ball gently with the tip of her toes. She kicked it once.

Once.

It lifted an inch off the ground before it fell out of her control.

No, falling would suggest that she stumbled or someone contested her. It was as if the ball was there one moment and then it was just gone. There was a delay before she even registered that Strider had moved past her. She spun around and yelled "Defense," but someone was already heading for Dave, not that it did any good.

It became a chase with Lynn annoyingly enough the furthest away from the kid she just made a lopsided gamble with and what made it worse was that he wasn't even good.

Lynn didn't need two seconds to realize that his footwork was terrible. His speed was good, his endurance looked like it was holding out easy, but the way he juggled the ball it looked like Dave hadn't even played soccer before. He was just kicking the ball towards the net as hard as he could and was just able to get to it before anyone else could with pure speed.

It was fast enough that the goalie was caught with his pants down.

It was with the only bit of finesse that Dave was able to launch the ball straight up into the air before he slammed his shin into it, shooting it right past Lynn's teammate into the net.

Lynn reached Dave just as the ball rolled back lamely as him. He didn't pursue it again.

There was at least the tiniest bit of awe on Dave's team. A half dozen kids came over for a quick high five or a word of compliment. Strider at least had enough social grace to meet them.

"You know a good print store?" Dave said as he walked by Lynn.

"Wow" Was the closest onomatopoeia to the sound that shoved a half crewed bit of lunch out of Clyde's mouth. It fell into his lap and he brushed it off letting the mashed up bit fall onto the table. He took another look from his place off field before nudging his friend. "Lincoln, did you know that guy could move that fast?"

Lincoln wasn't quick to answer. He just stared down at the game. It felt strange how everyone had no trouble just being there. "I was aware."

* * *

Dinner that night was normalish. Dave was still shiny and new. Mom and Dad Loud were still eager to hear something good about the cooking. It went by quickly enough and everyone was able to scatter when they were done eating.

Lynn wanted to get upstairs and actually fall asleep quickly for once. "Finally this day is done with."

Dave had finished around the same time. "You didn't seem like the type to crash."

Lynn paused at the foot of the stairs. "I'm not. You just made school like super weird."

"Really. I thought taking you down got me some rep."

Lynn rolled her eyes. She almost thought that Dave was bragging but he made it clear how he felt about sports. If anything any pride was him trying to annoy her. "Ya the goal was cool, but then you started to try and rap. After that you did nothing for the rest of the game except make fun of and flirt with everyone at the same time."

"I didn't hear any girls complaining."

"It was mostly the guys." She explained. She actually let out a chuckle. "This is going to sound super weird, but having a guy over: it's actually kind of a relief knowing that he's into dudes as much as he is girls."

"I'm not gay."

"Huh?" Lynn just had to look at him. She wanted to say something snarky, like ask him what else his behavior at the field could've met, but he just stared back at her. His smirk was gone. He looked irritated. Lynn settled on rolling her eyes "Whatever," before changing the subject. She lifted her foot and gave a small kick to a bag that Dave had left behind the couch. "So what you got. You didn't make me hang round the print shop for no reason. Whats sup?"

"Got something for you." Dave forgo any suspense and started to dig into the plastic shopping sack.

"Ya. sure." Lynn was resigned to her fate. "Guess I did say I owe you one, but if it's a blouse, I'm gonna sock you."

"I bet." Dave laughed.

"This it?" Lynn was expecting something like a shirt that said 'loser' or maybe some bizarre sketch that would remind her of yesterday's nightmare. "It's just a checkered hood. You sure about this?"

It wasn't completely checkered. Most of it was white but it had a mob of black and white pixels and boxes on the front and back. It was nothing too out there.

"Is that hesitation I hear? I thought you were hardcore Loud. Don't tell you're gonna break your word?" Strider lightly taunted.

"No one's saying that." Lynn fell for it almost too eagerly. She tore the hoodie from him. "Just want to make sure you're not wasting your bet since we both know you're not going to win another one." Lynn slipped on the hoodie right there. It was comfortable at least. She looked at the upside down mesh. "Not my usual look but it's not a bad design. Leni would approve. You're actually a pretty good artist when you're not doing y'know- what you do."

"'Dave Strider. Halfway way decent when he's not being himself.'" Dave could see it on a magazine cover "Is that an official endorsement? I'll put that down as a review when I come out with my first film."

There were some footsteps coming down the stairs.

"Yo Lincoln, check this out." Lynn had to look up at her little brother for once. He looked like he already showered. He had half his blanket stuff under his arm. The other half was dragging behind him.

"Looks good." It was hard to tell if he meant it or if he just knew to say something nice to his sisters.

"Dave made the design." Lynn motioned her noggin over to the other boy. "This is like the best possible outcome, right?"

The kid with white hair looked over at Dave. "Ya." he got out slowly. "Right."

"You're not going to bed?" Lynn eyed Lincoln's sheets.

He finished walking down, giving the two a wide berth. Lincoln was concentrating on the sofa. "Just wanted to catch something on tv real quick."

That sounded like her brother, Lynn had to admit. She probably should say something but she wasn't one to rag on someone for breaking the rules. "Just make sure mom and dad don't catch you."

The "okay" went without saying.

Lincoln waited a few moments, just long enough that he couldn't hear Dave's footsteps that well. When he could breathe easy he set down his blanket on the couch and fell asleep for the night.

* * *

**Copied from my AO3 notes: Joey and Jude are alive and on Earth instead of where ever they go in the yet unreleased Hiveswap episodes. Jade is with them too. It's not just Dave, everyone lives are going to improve rather they want it to or not.**

**Dave's sexuality in Homestuck was something I found a bit weird. Like I thought the kid was openly "everyone wants me and I want everyone" but then towards the end he goes all "am I or am I not gay?" Like a multicosmic game is a bit of a weird time to start questioning your sexuality but here we are I guess. Like if I'm being honest Homestuck was great with showing representation (troll society was brilliant for many reasons), but when it hunkered down and actually talked about it, it kind of did it poorly, but on the other hand in a story that's more slice of life it makes good drama.**


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